The Unusual Suspects

I have heard of stories of people getting sudden enlightenment and jolts of never-before-known knowledge under a tree. Be it Siddhartha under the Mahabodhi tree, becoming The Buddha, or Isaac Newton getting plonked on the head by a rogue apple and becoming the Newton-guy-who-discovered-gravity (Disclaimers: Frankly dudes, I don't give a damn. Its a good story, and it makes sense. I still see Newton as a man thinking with his chin on his hand, while an apple is falling from the tree onto his rockstar-hairdo. Even wikipedia says this happened, so stfu).

I tried this actually. I sat and meditated under the banyan tree, under the peepal tree, under the gulmohar tree, and even under the mango tree (I might have had more than one intention there, but thats not the point), and as you can see, I ain't got no understanding about the absolute truth of life. Yet.

I have learnt some stuff till now. Foremost of them is that my chances of getting uber-knowledge under a tree is as high as Quentin Tarantino making a romantic comedy. Its true however, that I have found small pieces of knowledge in the most unexpected places.

1. After watching a kick-ass dishum dishum movie, me and my friend were walking down Brigade Road (yeah, you know why) discussing the movie loudly, when suddenly out of the blue he says :

"You know what the sad thing about life is? The best moments don't last. You know, I wish it was like this movie. I wish I could go home and watch it over and over again somehow, just skipping the boring and the sad parts".

This coming from someone who thought James Hadley Chase is the best author in the world.

2. Teachers can be funny.
Once our lecturer said, 'I'll tell you a guys a joke today'

We eagerly anticipated the joke, to fake the laughter later.

'Which is more smart, a triangle or a square?'

'Triangle sir, it looks "sharp"'

'No pa. Ok, don't know aa? See the joke has a bit of tamil joke ok? Square I say, because it has naal-edgu. *Stupid smile* Did you fallow me? Yes now tell me, which is more smart now, square or an octagon?"

'Er, sqaure because it has naal-edgu, octogon has ent-edgu'?

'No pa, octogon. Octogon has EXTRA naal-edgu'

*Chorus of fake hahahah*

Yeah, they can be pretty stupid too.

This teacher, once told me, "Life is like a lathe machine. Your soul is the workpiece. Life holds you and spins you. You are the operator. You are always in control. Its your duty shape your soul, the way you want it to be"

Sorry for the mech fundae, but still pretty impressive I must say.

3. I am one of the people for whom nature calls pretty often.

I have missed several buses, several classes, and more recently, climax of movies because of The Call. Once while answering The Call in a public restroom, there it was written:

"The most difficult moments make you appreciate how beautiful your life is. Without the lower moments, you wouldn't be able to appreciate the height of your happier ones".

I found this hilarious, meaningful at the same time.

Maybe The Call makes people philosophical.

4. South Park rules!

I just used to watch it just for the humour. But the this speech by Kyle, changed my perception of South Park. This is Imaginationland part III episode, where the govt. decides to nuke 'Imaginationland' where all imaginary things created by humans live.

"I think they are real. They are all real. Think about it. Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your life than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger imapct on the world than any of us have.. and the same could be said for Bugs Bunny, Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life.. changed the way I act on the earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real? They might be imaginary, but they are more important than most of us here.. and they're all going to be around long after we are dead. So, in a way, those things are more real-er than any of us"

Applause.

A wise-guy named Sarvajna once said,

"Taking small bits of knowledge from everyone, Sarvajna has become a mountain of knowledge"

That, for me, is the only way to get enlightened. Don't waste your time under trees.

Heaven?

I am not a believer is Gandhigiri. But I do believe that 'An eye of an eye makes the whole world blind'. I am more of an extremist, I look up to Azad, Bhagat Singh, who died in a meaningful battle, to free their homeland from the occupiers. But I do not get the point of the recent 'extremists' who seem to fight for nothing but to spread fear in the world they live in.
This was in the offing but the current state in Mumbai just acted as a catalyst. I will not go as far as http://www.faithfreedom.org/ to condemn anyone, but whatever do you get by taking innocent tourists into hostage, without any demands? Does god send people to heaven for such criminal acts? Is this what you call as a 'Holy War'? There can be no 'heaven' waiting for people who take 135+ lives, whatever religion they may follow.
Our government looks to have taken a very soft stand on terror. After 9/11 in the US of A, there has been no major acts of terrorism. That's what we call learning through experience. But we, the very hospitable citizens of India, are planning to give a pardon to a guy, who attacked our parliament, and hence the heart of the whole country. The government needs give powers to the ATS, instead of playing vote-bank politics just to please the minorities.
Sometimes I dream of all this ending, living in a peaceful world, where everyone respects each other, and most importantly, let them live their life.

As the 'Stairway to Heaven' says,

And its whispered that soon, if we all call the tune,
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn, for those who stand long,
And the forests will echo with laughter.


I hope.

Death and Decay

The Light pierced through the charcoal sky
From the lone beacon standing;
I saw it once, now its gone again,
Its time to start the mourning.

The Heart is is still, the Soul is crying,
All alone now, its time to pay;
The Light gives me strength no more,
Its time for Death and Decay.

Love and Hate

Crackers and me have been quite distant from each other for the past 6 years, reasons three :
1. A big 'green' activity group coming to school making us swear to god not to burst crackers ever again.
2. My newly acquired knowledge about the noise and smoke produced by the crackers.
3. (The one which 'might'(very slightly) have tilted the scales) They're scary!!

The small, green, innocent looking bundle of thread when set on fire makes such a big noise, you can never get used to it >.<. Especially not when the small-kid-next-door bursts right next to you when you are out on the day, though fully aware there are bound to be land-mines everywhere.
The reason that I am scared of them can be attributed to one primary incident, which happened around the same time when the above(more important) reasons started influencing my cracker bursting life.
That night, I took a normal, a 6-inch-long sparkler (better known as sur-sur-batti) to light up a 'pilley' flower pot. I lit it up using a candle, holding the flower pot on my left hand. Placing the flower-pot carefully on the freshly-tarred road, and bent to light it up. Small sparks oozed out of the flower pot as I touched its tip with the sur-sur-batti's dancing sparks. I ran back, to watch the flower pot show its majestic glory.
Nothing happened. The sparks went back to bed. Ayyo tuss pataki. Went close to check if the flame was off and to see if the pot was re-lightable, I bent down.
BANG!
The flower pot, which was supposed to emit colourful sparks so that the little children can clap, and the others would watch it in awe, that friggin conical piece of cardboard and paper and phosphorous and god-knows-what, exploded right on my face! Fortunately, no pieces of it came to me, and no lasting injury on me, unless you consider the sprouting of the seed of hatred for the crackers in me.
Ironically, crackers found their way to my home yet again this year, thanks to my cracker-enthusiast father :x
Crackers may have all their what-dyou-call-ems, negative points, but on the perfectly clear nights the Deepavali festival always promises, sitting on the balcony, watching people run when they light the crackers, smile when it explodes, watch in wonder when it shows its multi-coloured magnificence, the beauty of the pitch-black night sky when its lit up with green and yellow and red, carries you to a different world.

Hate

This is a story I found very recently in a Tinkle. I loved it so much that I thought I'd share it with all of you. It was supposedly written by some German author. So, I don't deserve any originality credits for this. ;).

Neighbours
Georgv and Uhrlich were two boys from two very rich and powerful families in Germany. Their properties were next to each other separated by a patch of forest. Due to the fight for the ownership of this patch of forest, there was severe enmity between the two families, and it showed itself in Georgv and Uhrlich too.
They grew up hating each other and when they inherited their respective properties, their hatred only intensified. If anyone related to the other family was found, they were imprisoned without water or food until proper ransom was paid.
One night, Georgv was having his supper with his wife. A storm was building up. Suddenly, a sound which sounded like a gunshot pierced the silence of the night.
Georgv sprung up from his chair. "Looks like Uhrlich's men are hunting in the forest".
His wife protested the disturbance to the supper. "Let them be !"
"Its high time I show them who the real owner is"
"Listen to the wind outside ! Its suicide to go into the forest on a night like this !"
Nothing could Georgv at that moment. He grabbed his rifle and put on a big coat. All the hate right from his childhood was coming out now. Even the nature was angry. Its growled, it rumbled, the wind was cruel...
"You!"
It was Uhrlich. He too was holding his rifle.
There was a loud roar of thunder.
" Your luck has run out Uhrlich!", Georgv growled, "The law says I can shoot poachers. This time you won't leave the forest alive !"
"You think so?"
Georgv shot. It whistled by Uhrlich's ears.
It was Uhrlich's turn. He took aim.
CRASH !
A heavy tree fell on the two men trapping them beneath its massive branches. The two foes lay there inches away from each other, each silently enduring the pain of broken bones. Despite their plight, their hatred remained alive.
"My men will be here soon", Uhrlich moaned, " And when they do, things look black for you dear neighbour!"
"My men won't be gentle with you if they get here first either"
But even after an hour there was no sign of rescue party from either side. The night became bitterly cold. Both men were chilled to the bone. Slowing, painfully Uhrlich reached into his coat pocket and found a small flask containing soup. He took a big satisfying gulp of it. He felt a little warmer. He looked at Georgv. Georgv looked frozen and very much in pain. Uhrlich felt a tinge of pity for him.
"Listen, I have some soup", Uhrlich said. "Can you move your hand to take it?"
Georgv didn't reply. The wind was howling. He spoke after a long silence.
"Perhaps I misjudged you", Georgv said, pain evident from his voice. "I feel too nauseous to drink, but I appreciate your kindness. Neither of of our families have showed any neighbourly concern for centuries"
"That is true Georgv. Let us end our enmity. Let bygones be bygones."
"I feel that way too. Let us bury our past", said Georgv. "When my men come, I will tell them to attend to you first. That will show everyone a beginning of a new friendship".
"If my men come earlier", said Uhrlich. "I will do the same. I will insist they take you out before me"
There were distant footsteps footsteps heard.
"They're coming!", cried Georgv."They must be your men as they are coming from your direction"
"I cannot rise my head to look. How many?"
"I cannot see properly in the darkness. But I can make out six or seven shapes outlined against the horizon.
Slowly time passed.
"They're coming closer...", said Georgv,"Uhrlich ! they're not.... "
"Not my men?", said Uhrlich, "Your's then?"
" No, Uhrlich, They are not men at all"
"Not men ! You have lost your senses"
"No, neighbour. I have not lost my senses. I can see them clearly now. They're.. they're.. ", screamed Georgv, fear etched in every word he spoke.
"WOLVES !"

"We hate some persons because we do not know them; and will not know them because we hate them" ~Charles Caleb Colton

Life is too short. There is no time for hate here.

In Murphy, I trust.

Statement of Murphy's law : If something can go wrong, it will.

Some of my favourite corollaries :
- Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
- When a body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
- Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
- All the good ones will be taken.
- To err is human, but it feels divine.

Its actually quite scary that everything in nature follows this law, when you least expect (and want) it to. I laugh to myself daily while picking up my fathers cell, which rings, without fail, whenever his goes to the bathroom. You see that whenever you have a high influx of buses in the bus stop, auto-rickshaws will be going extra-slow near the bus stops trying to tempt the people to their cozy, empty autos. Whenever the buses are hard to come by, or worse, its raining and you don't have an umbrella, you will see that the autos are full, or they won't come where you want, or worse, charge double or triple the meter price and leave you in a dilemma.
Our BMTC buses could easily become the brand ambassadors of Murphyism.
Everyday morning, me, Chetan and many other friends wait for our buses to college or at least, to Vijaynagar (i.e., 401s, 236). The most common sight in the 1st block bus stand : 80s series. There are at least four 80 series buses a minute, and how we wish desperately that all the 80s to be magically converted to 236s. After [0, 30] minutes of anxious waiting, we get a bus.
One fine day, we want to goto Navrang to Vinay's house. Though we could have easily walked to Navrang in 20 minutes, we decided to goto 1st block and then catch and 80. That would take us only 17 minutes and we could wring out more use from our bus pass. And as you would have expected the climax, the infinite fountain of 80s had dried up. A bus which we could get every 20 seconds in the morning, we got it after 20 minutes. But the irony of it all is, we saw 5 empty 401s go past us in that twenty minutes! you may not appreciate it, but its a special type of 'hotte-uri' reserved for regular commuters.
One more instance :
I internal test in college. Physics and Basic Mech. Engg. on the same day. Deadly combo with lots of theory to mug (esp. me who hadn't studied a rat's tail before tests started). After physics exam we started studying BME. I saw that I had missed the diagram for GeoThermal energy source in my notes. I asked
Me : "Hey, someone give me diag for geothermal"
"Wait da. I'll give you after I finished. but I don't think it'll be given, compared to others, its a joke !"
Me : "OK. Chuck it." And I didn't study it.
Very, predictably, 1st question in the paper : Explain GeoThermal energy and give its advanteages and disadvantages. Shit.
But fortunately, we had choices and the rest of the exam went well. So, all is well that ends well.

To, have the best chances to minimize the effect of Murphy's laws I heard this advice somewhere :
" Hope for the best and prepare for the worst "

Murphy may strike anytime ;).




Murphyism for our DebSoc guys : Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.