Chop Suey

I woke up.

I couldn't open my eyes. But it was dark. I could feel it.

I shuffled slightly where I sat. My arms wouldn't move. It was as though the heavy darkness was weighing it down. Not that I wanted to move them anyway.

There isn't a thing you can do in this 5x5 room I have been locked up in.

I tried opening my eyes, gave up the futile attempt. Its the same outside.

Suddenly, I was standing. I swayed my arms around, searching. Nothing. It looked like I was standing on solid ground. I carefully put my leg forward, and suddenly pulled it back. There was nothing.

I was on the precipice.

Brilliant light pierced my eyes. It was as though someone had switched on the floodlights of a stadium at the middle of the night.

I was indeed on the edge of a cliff. It wasn't a free fall though. The cliff curved into something between the shape of a 'C' and a 'U', the shape of a crescent moon. The surface was smooth as marble. There was heavy mist in the air, I could barely make out the end of the curve. Everything else looked smudged. Just when I was wondering what should I be doing here I realized, I had something under my right foot.

Oh look, a skateboard.

I put my left leg on the skateboard, gave myself a push using my right foot, and let myself go. The frosty wind rushed to my face. I could barely open my eyes. I still tried to open them. Bad idea. Tears started streaming out due to the sheer force of the wind. They trickled down my cheek making a cold path.

I let myself go.

I was stretching my arms like Jesus Christ. I reached the edge, and due to the momentum, I was projected into the chilly air. I thought my heart would give away, judging by the frequency and the loudness of the beats. I closed my eyes and just sunk into the joy of flying. So free, so liberating.

'To fly like a bird in the open skies..', someone had said.
I landed. I was all dark again. I was on top of the cliff again. I must have traced a circular trajectory.

Oh look, a skateboard under my right foot.

I was in the dark room again.

I sniffed. The room smelled of rust, my own sweat, my own guilt.

Slowly, I found something wrong with the air. I was breathing deeply, but I still seemed to want more.

Oh damn.

I pushed my eyes open. The fear seemed to give me strength. I looked around. There was no opening in this godforsaken place. I was suffocating. My hands still wouldn't move. Sigh.

I woke up.

Clear sunshine was streaming into my face, making a beautiful golden hue all around. The air was warm, smelled of fresh rain falling on the earth. Looks like I was out of my 5x5 box after all.

I can, I thought. If I try.

Did I really wake up?

I don't know.

"I have to believe in a world outside my own mind. I have to believe my actions still have meaning. I have to believe when my eyes are closed, the world is still here."